Friday, January 20, 2017


brush brush. 
there we go.
not a fresh start - a couple smudged lines, but better than before.

i stood out in that cold, wet dirt today. the sun was already sleeping behind the mountains, and the sky was already that deep blue that sifts the moonlight as it comes down. a couple stars were out and i thought about goodness.

goodness, goodness, goodness.
the kind that shakes the shadow remnants from your soul, and love that finds those tender bits in your heart.

the Lord is good, yeah? i know it. hey, i believe it. 

i didn't know what that meant before. the Lord is good? yeah. sure. but that was before the fire. that was before the thunderstorms and the running and the broken sobs that shook your old lungs.
goodness isn't always what we see is good.

what does He see, little one?
He sees the finished result.
He sees what the trials produce.

He sees you. and hey, he loves you now. he loves you in all of your youness. and a brave man once said, "God said come as you are, but he didn't say leave as you were."

that means loss of self, yo.
i was scared once. some days i still am. but when you gaze into His eyes, all fear melts away. those doubts have no place to stand in the face of Truth. and Christ. OH. CHRIST. He is with you through that refining fire that feels like it's burning you up so much that you can't even breathe.
He is with you on those quiet mornings when it feels like you can't pray.
He is with you.

the Lord is good. and some days that means He's gonna lead you right through that storm and other days it means that He loves you so deeply that the sunrises and sunsets bleed colors.

something good.


Sunday, January 1, 2017

in your eyes

it was the stillness in your eyes.

the hushed peace, lingering there. telling me i came back home.

it was funny, though. because there had been so much on my hands, on my heart. the bitterness sinks in and your eyes turn gray and no one knows who you are anymore. not even yourself.

it chokes you.

but one look at you and i knew everything was going to be okay.

you knew. i looked in your eyes and it was like looking right back into mine. glory stuck in the iris, gleaming goodness.
(He is good.)

how could i even put it all into words? He had to take it all. every last piece. it broke you. it broke me.

i laugh because it hurt so much. and i thought i'd never make it out, but here i am.

things change. things grow.

you know.

i can see it in the stillness in your eyes.