i don't need you to love me

the light feels thick from the stars, strangling me into
a muggy heartache.
you don't have to love me, i murmur, always always
twisting in the night. you don't have to love me.
but no matter how many times i say those words,
i can't quite make my feelings obey in submission.
in a lot of ways, i want you to love me.

i want memories where the heat of the moment
lights up our faces, casting gentle shadows.
the blurry memories. the ones where you can't quite
remember what you were laughing about, but you
just remember your heart was in high tide.
it doesn't have to be a lover's kind of love. she
talked about soulmates, and how they can come for
those moments where time stands still.
in a lot of ways, i want to believe you were one.
because when i throw a glance over my shoulder,
certain pieces of time peek at me like glitter in the
sunlight.

but i don't need you to love me
for me to love you.

/x

hey punks! lately my favorite feeling has been the freshness that comes when you move on from old feelings. what about you?