i lost you some
where
in the fog between last winter and this summer
i reach for you, but my grasp falls
short
rushing, arms flailing, i keep pulling in the rope that
once tied me fast to
you
when i reach the end it's
cut
your silhouette ripples out of my
view and i'm left with no good goodbye and only a crumpled heart
i screamed in his arms
when you left your hard bitten words in my hands
as if every single year we had meant nothing to you
joseph, continuous in my head
it's been months
since
propinquity.
i smooth out the crinkles in my crumpled heart. it looks better than it did in august,
but there is no erasing
the canyons that agony carves.
altruism peeks out from the crevices. not spirit of my flesh,
but flesh of the Spirit, coming to mend the fissures
brought by wreckage.
in my memory, i am speaking, yet all i see is my moving mouth.
like those childhood nightmares, it is
silent.
requital has become a lost art. although, maybe i was chasing after things that had already departed.
did your farewell disappear into the void? did i sweep it away without notice?
was it voiced to me, yet went over my head?
this misunderstanding cuts into my pharynx on the way down.
i taste fresh blood any time i dwell upon this
unclosed case.
how do you love when you're supposed to let go of love?
/x
